Rewriting Reality: The Power Of Telling A Story
Our self-told stories make up our lives.
They were gifts wrapped in imagination, inspiration, excitement, pain, and heartache. Gifts given by thousands of writers. Gifts just waiting to be opened. — Ellery Adams in The Secret, Book & Scone Society.
These lines in a book I read grabbed me. Not from a reader perspective, but as a writer. I want to give those gifts in my novels, not simply in the rest of my writing.
The book was a slow start for me and I found myself not as interested in whodunnit as in the story of the main character. What had broken her and brought her to this point in her life?
Stories drive all of human nature. The stories we tell ourselves about the world and who we are in the world determine how we behave.
Back in my social worker days, we dealt with family systems. The concept that families work as a unit and each of us plays a part. If one part (person) is dysfunctional, it affects the entire system and the whole family becomes dysfunctional to cope.
One intervention in this systems approach is to change yourself. Change how you act or react within a system, and the system must react differently. Make up a new story featuring yourself as the main character behaving differently. The premise is that we only have control over ourselves.
This change is not as easy to implement as it is to type. The family system may not react positively to your new behavior or do so in the way you predict. You do not get to invent their story. It is also difficult to act in a way that is new and scary.
But as we all strive for personal growth, we can tell ourselves a new story.
Reframe a trauma.
See a situation from a fresh vantage point.
Acknowledge that your reality may not be the same reality perceived by others.
Be careful about the story you tell yourself. If you don’t like the results (the life you are living), give yourself the gift of a new narrative.